Awareness is Half the Battle, Noticeable Changes Only Happen with Focus (31)

There are somethings, I am very aware of- I notice them instantly and then I can combat them quickly. My mindfulness strategies work more than they don't.

There are things about myself I need to work on. Acceptance of my faults is a characteristic I have strengthened over the years. But, accepting a compliment is still very hard for me.

There are things I am good at. Things I am not good at and avoid. But, there are also those things I know I need to focus on, to better myself. I get distracted, even lazy, and fall back into old habits. But, I am also looking inward, a lot.

I know I can't be perfectly mindful all the time. I know in my mind, I judge. I misunderstand, I am quick to dismiss things if they frustrate me or are not instantly relevant. I do not like decisions to be made for me.

I am far more patient with my students than my peers. They seem to understand me better. Appreciate me. I feel lost with my colleagues- I feel I do not have a voice. Solitary confinement. I visit and they are in conversation. I am rarely included. An after thought.

I received an award- not from my peers, but from the PTA, parents and educators who know of me- my dedication, my science classes, my mindfulness lessons. They hear things about me from students and parents. They saw something- often unnoticeable by those around me.

This award was mentioned, not emphasized. Later in the month there will be a ceremony. But, at my school it was glossed over. Most recognition is. But, in my heart this award means more than any other because it is not a popularity award, but a teaching one. Acceptance.

Subtlety escapes me. It bypasses most of us- who rarely receive acknowledgement. I know though on the night- a night of many, I will feel connected to other educators in my district who push the limits and help students reach their full potential. I am honored, humbled and in awe that a committee, a group of people in my district, said my name and felt the need to recognize me.

Noticeable changes only happen with focus. Focusing on my words, my interactions, my relationships with students- my strengths, is so important now. If I remain aware- I must make noticeable changes.

I must accept that solitary confinement is a little bit preferred. Meditation during the day is part of my routine and having my space allows me to do it. Sometimes when you choose to be alone- others stay away even when you do not want them to. Accept the subtle. Accept the choices.

There are somethings about myself I need to work on- my communication skills. I get nervous talking to other people- I need to talk to other people. I sometimes stay silent and choices are made for me- rather than with me. They might not ask when they should, but I might not get ahead of the decision either.

Half the battle- dealing with other people is a battle. I stay in my head most of the time. It's easier that way. I have a voice though, an audible one and I need to use it. Mindfulness does not just apply to how you treat others but also how you see and believe in yourself. How you respect yourself- how you listen to yourself.

Noticeable change is on the horizon. People are noticing- recognizing- aware. This is my battle cry.

Educational Evolution: The Inevitable March Forward (29)

Ancestry and Action

There is a common ancestry within our societal, technological and educational evolution as humans. There was a bright idea, a movement, a revolution, that spawned ingenuity and progress. Before there was electricity, people knew there was a way to harness energy and create a safer way to light our homes, other than candles and lanterns. It took a mindset, a drive to move forward, invent, accelerate our society. It took a dream, science and a deep passion to march into the future, in control of our destiny. It took patience and insight.

Change comes in punctuated equilibrium, blasts and bursts, but also in slow, incremental moves. Either way its progress, its evolution, its transformation. Nature, science, technology, humanity- we are all in an inevitable march forward. No matter how random these changes and expansions may seem, they connect somehow. They intertwine and bring about a web-like growth, we often don't see.

What we tend to see is the punctuation- the loud, boisterous maturations that headline the news. Sometimes they feel organic, inevitable - but no matter the fluidity, they start with a spark. A spark of creativity, vision, acumen. A communal divination so to speak. When this happens the wavelength becomes a wave expanse and the movement begins. It starts with a vibration- a Tweet, Post or two. Then it becomes a fluctuation- A chat, news story, mob of protesters. Then it evolves into a rebellion, a cause- a public recognition of what we need to do better, how we can be better.

Education Evolution

Credit for our modern version of the school system usually goes to Horace Mann. When he became Secretary of Education in Massachusetts in 1837, he set forth his vision for a system of professional teachers who would teach students an organized curriculum of basic content. Basic content, but it had to be based around familial need as well, children could learn but were also expected to help out on the farm as well. Then there was a shift.

Public schools in the US were created to educate “the masses” and make them into better workers and better citizens. There were problems of masses of uneducated young people who were rough and tumble, those who did not fit the social acceptability of behavior and intelligence. They wanted to socialize children into becoming respectful and prepared for life. They were focused on creating good citizens, not necessarily ones that could reason and think for themselves.

By 1900, 31 states had compulsory education for 8-12 year olds. It became a way of life for children to attend school. Yet, they remained in rows, facing forward- very little time to socialize except at recess, under penalty of harsh discipline. We have all seen the stereotypical teachers of the 19th and 20th centuries. School marms or strict head masters. But eventually it changed again. High school became the norm after primary school and children were staying in school longer and learning more subjects other than the "three R's."

Finally, classrooms started breaking away from the pack and new designs and set ups emerged, new curriculum was born, new strategies were put into place and eventually- teachers began to get creative. They started teaching in new ways- letting students 'do'. Choose their own way of demonstrating their knowledge. Students could choose how they learn best and how they prefer to take notes and how they need to have information presented to them. Students now had options.

Teachers started letting students collaborate. They began to teach students how to teach themselves, how to think for themselves. They took a step away from the sage on the stage to more of a facilitator role. Desks were flexible, pacing was flexible as long as the curriculum was presented. Students and teachers began to collaborate and plan together. This opened up a new world, popping the bubble of old school education, in its wake.

Where do we go from here? What is the next educational evolution? This is what I dream, I believe, I recognize as our next push ahead. I know for me- this is my inevitable march forward. A classroom where every day, mindfulness is discussed and emphasized. Where positive speak is the norm. Where students are challenged and pushed just beyond their comfort zones, as to get them excited about failure- knowing they can try and try again until they get it. 

A classroom where every one can speak their mind, respectfully. Where no one feels bullied, unheard or like they are not the smartest person in the room. Confidence is key and mindfulness the lock. If we balance the two- there will not be arrogance or self-centered behavior-there will be trust, admiration and cooperation. No one will be left behind, because it will not just be me, on the lookout with an emergency kit, but everyone will have binoculars and triage experience.

If we teach students to reason and think for themselves they will be confident learners. If we give them situations to test this resolve- they will build endurance and determination. If we allow them to struggle- step back and let them struggle, they will grow because they will know they can do it. If we let them talk, work together- urge each other to keep up and excel- they will do so from peer pressure alone. Peer pressure is not a bad thing. It keeps us motivated. If we scaffold learning with bravery and persistence- they will meet our expectations.

There is a constant backlash against education -"It is failing our children." Education itself is a very vast empire of kings and rulers- deciding the fate of many. But it is forged and strengthened by the masses- the under dogs, the worker bees, the commoners- us educators that know the inner workings of a classroom. Us rank and file that no longer wear the uniforms of an army outdated. We are the voice of the new generation of education. We are the true leaders of the inevitable march forward.

Personal Progression

I started teaching because I grew up in an education bubble, in schools where discipline overpowered creativity and individuality. Where teachers lectured and students sat quietly in desks, facing forward- listening and absorbing the best they could. We did not have brain breaks, collaborative- purposeful talk, or makerspaces. It was a different time.

Did I learn? Yes. Did I engage? Sometimes. Do I really remember anything specific I was taught in school? Not really. I did synthesize facts, but not really details. Then as an adult I used the details from college to create my scaffolding for processing the real world. My love of science came from college. My love of reading came from college. My love of learning came from college.

I became a teacher because I wanted the love of science, the love of reading and the love of learning to happen for my students in middle school. I wanted to create an atmosphere of try new things, fail, grow, engage, talk, interact and actively process new ideas. To have fun while learning. To not just create a space for science but one that embodies mindfulness as well. To make sure that as much science was swirling around us- kindness, awareness and confidence was the glue that held us together as a community.

Evolution is inevitable. Are you on board? Join the rebellion. Be that teacher- the one they remember long into college and look back and say- I remember the content and the person. I have taken this memory with me- and it has made me, above all else, a reasoning, mindful, thinker and for this I am grateful.

Thanks for the Feedback (27)

Saying thank you goes a long way. Saying please does too. It is amazing what a little generosity of spirit does for someone else's day. Today in my class we talked about, in our mindfulness lesson, Why are people rude? How can we not be rude in return? What can we do to combat this vicious cycle of negativity.

Students did a great job explaining all the reasons why people may behave rudely:

1- To get some power in a situation
2-Because they feel insecure
3-Because something made them angry
4- Because they are sad
5- Someone was rude to them earlier and they are venting
6- They have a bad attitude

The list goes on and on.

Then we discussed how we can not feed our angry wolf. How we can respond not react. How we can send out into the world positivity rather than negativity:

1- Smile
2- Say something positive no matter what
"I am sorry you are having a bad day, how can I help?"
3- Pause before you speak
4- Think before you react
5-Reaction is full of emotion- Response is more calm (respond not react)
6- Try to understand why- why they are reacting the way they are

If we look for feedback, from ourselves, we will see such beautiful things. We will recognize our level of compassion and we will become kinder, more present and more faithful to humanity and our behavior towards one another.

Always say thank you for the feedback. Let others know you are listening.

Be What You Can Imagine: Incremental Headway - Part One (25)

Be what you can imagine. It is a combination of what you are and what you can be. A chaotic vibration of bonding and deterioration. This image of ourselves, designed by sheer will and experience- it is fantastical. It is miraculous. Energy and matter working in tandem. Atoms combining, joining forces, splitting apart, faster than our minds can even make sense of.

We can't even truly imagine what we can be. It's like looking into the abyss. We only see what we once were, in memories both faulty and fictional. We only remember what our brains have sliced together from the ether. Like editing a movie of our lives. We can postulate, debate and ponder- but ultimately, we can never know for sure, because as we have the thought, conjure the image, we have already changed. Our mental atoms have already rearranged. The ether forever in a state of rupture, rapture and reconstruction.

Our imaginations, vast, hold certain ideals on which we design and build the image of ourselves. We can only be what we can imagine. Which is a lot. The bombardment of magic and faith help us see endless combinations of opportunity and circumstance. Sometimes we see fantastical events full of mystery and suspense- we want to reside in a place of excitement. We want to live in a world of whimsy and wonder where anything can happen.

Yet, we do not know any wizards or mages to cast spells of luck and fortune. We only know the incantations of our own mind speak. These we repeat like a spiritual cadence. "Let me get what I want, let me find a way to make this happen, let me find the strength to overcome, endure, succeed." We believe if we say it enough, the universe will make it happen.

We often live in a world of pure imagination because it is more comfortable there. But we need to inhabit an environment in which we see what we need and get clarity on how to move towards it. Where we have the persistence and tenacity to achieve it. This energy like all energy is never created nor destroyed. It might alter course, to push along a separate idea, but eventually it will return with fervor and a new purpose.

Not all magic is successful. Spells are cast that fall flat- never reaching their intended destination. We lose focus. The distractions of normalcy and routine veer us. But even normalcy and routine carry with them a spark to ignite a new combustion of thought and action. Sometimes it takes the extreme, the unexpected, a jolt of reason to illuminate ingenuity. Creativity does not always find us- no matter how many charms and conjuring spells we put out into the universe.

We don't always get our wish. We don't always find what we are looking for. But if we clear our minds and remember to say our mantra frequently- maybe we will engage with incremental headway. Frequently and faithfully we must believe that what we imagine can in someway become an opportunity. We might not fly to the moon, but we might see our situation from another angle, a new view might just be what we need to land far from where we reside.

Perception rolls are important. When we connect with the ether, let the energy and spirit of opportunity and possibility, change the odds, the world opens itself up to us a little bit more.

The List, The Outcome Visual (23)

The List

A few months ago I spent a day just walking around my room, writing down every negative comment I heard students say. To themselves or to others. It turned out that after 6 class periods I had about 4 full pages of negative comments. This is what inspired the more formal lesson of S.T.O.M.P. Stand, Think, Optimize, Mindful, Presence.

I have always had a mindfulness component in my classroom, but after that day I knew I needed a more consistent, concise, collaborative strategy, that brought in community and personal reflection. Since that fateful day in September, I have been integrating mindfulness in almost every thing we do- warm-ups, brain breaks, ticket's out the door. Every day something about mindfulness and self-awareness.

Last week I decided to walk around the room of all my classes and make another list. This time of all the positive comments I heard students say to themselves or to someone else. At the end of the day I had about four full pages of comments. They ranged from thank you to I appreciate you being mindful right now because I know I was rude to you. Then the next day I walked down the hall during each class change and wrote down every positive and every negative comment I heard.

I expected them to lean towards the negative end of things and there were many negative comments, cussing and just plain mean behavior. But, as it turned out, it was about even with a little more positively than negatively. I noticed a lot of the positivity came from my students, past or present. But, there were so many smiles and moments of  kindness, it warmed my heart.

The Outcome

The lists were eye opening. But, I had to take it further (I tend to do this a lot). The last three days I have been carrying a small pad around with me and I have been writing down every negative thing I think, or say aloud. One day I wrote down every positive thing I thought, the other every negative thing. The third day both- just keeping track of moments throughout the day where I might lean more negative or more positive.

I wanted to see if holding myself accountable for my thoughts and words would make me think less negatively or more positively. Behave differently maybe. I held very strict to my note taking. Generally an upwards arrow and a word or two like- So in so said a positive thing to me, or a downward arrow and a word or two like- fatigued after lunch or loudness in the hallway. Did my behavior or outlook change?

Are you on the edge of your seat? Drum roll....it did. Not only did I think differently, I caught myself in negative thoughts, I steered myself towards positive thoughts. I acted differently too, I smiled more and interacted more and just paid more attention to my actions and words. My posture, facial expressions and eye contact altered. I made sure to be specific with my compliments like- that was a great job because I really like how you used alliteration and onomatopoeia in your puppet show.

But above all else, it altered my perception of my surroundings and the actions of others. I saw not just the behavior, but the impetus for it. I heard rude comments, but rather than focusing on the words, I felt an understanding as to why they were angry enough to say them. Basically I remembered what it felt like to be a middle-schooler.

I remembered to redirect with words like- hey I know you might be stressed out today for some reason but let's remember to be mindful. I slowed down, took a beat and really paid attention to what was going on around me and I noticed a lot of things I usually am too busy to perceive. Students being nice to each other.

Visual 

I am a visual learner. I need to write things down. Reflect in a journal. Write a blog. Words mean a lot to me- they are my musical notes, my brush strokes, my modeling clay. So I knew if I was going to make a difference, make myself more aware, hold myself more accountable, I needed to write it down. Not just for reflection but because if I write it down I internalize it, see my error in thinking, own it. So I can be better. More often than not, I do not speak negatively to people. But, I slip up when I am in a frenzy of self pity or exhaustion. I wrote it, I own it- self pity.

I tell students "There is no pity party, feel sad, feel hurt, even if you must feel angry, but let it go and move on." This I am pretty good at. It's the feel it part that often drags me down. I live in a world of self-doubt yet I have enough self-confidence that I bugger on. I need to work on the self-doubt part. So I have decided that the pad is going to be a permanent deal, for awhile at least. Until I am moving around in a space of "I got this." Rather than a space of "Well...maybe I got this." Because honestly,  in the end, after the pity party and self-doubt- I generally got this.

Step one- be brutally honest with yourself- no one is listening.
Step two- reflect at the end of the day and in the morning, but more importantly- frequently throughout the day.
Step three- carry a pad around and write down your thoughts, every time you feel yourself getting dragged to the dark side- make a perception roll. Face your thoughts by writing them down.
Step four- accept that you will throw many pity parties- but you will throw more celebratory ones, especially if you keep track of the guest list.

The Truce of Common Sense vs. Personal Choice (21)

Sound practical judgement helps keep us safe. Helps us make the right decisions. It is our basic ability to reason, think things through. Common sense is defined as our awareness, intuition and readiness based on our experiences. Not everyone's astuteness is equal. Some of us are decisive and rational and others of us can be hesitant and doubtful.

Most of us fall in between- when we are confident and purposeful, we tend to be more perceptive and prudent. When we are stressed, frustrated or insecure, we often become divided, leaving things uncertain and wavering. But no matter our disposition our background, maturity and wisdom guide us, to our action and practicality.

"Don't let the wish be the father of the thought"

Is common sense common? Many believe it is not. The lack of it has lead us as a society, to make many an error in judgement. There is a lot of strife and indignation swirling throughout society. The reaction to this acrimony is as vast as the reasons why people are resentful and exasperated. Everyone has an opinion, point of view.

We all have traditions, histories and upbringings that have steered us into our frame of mind. We did not necessarily have personal choice in much of it. We grew up in a certain city or town, we were born into our families, we went to the schools we were zoned too. So, as a result, a lot of our personal choices were hindered and thus our common sense was shaped without our choice.

Yet somehow there is a truce between our common sense and personal choice. Rather than being at odds consistently, they seem to understand one another and work together as we become adults. Most of us accept the basis of our common sense: childhood, parental involvement, education and social interactions. We understand that as children we were divided from our personal choice in many situations, maybe for the better, maybe out of necessity and safety.

When we become a certain age our personal choices are slowly returned to us. When to go to college, when to go to sleep, what to eat, who to spend our time with and when. We leave the nest and when we do, our choices make their way home, adding to our responsibility, obligation- like an albatross. We feel more personal choice and we experience it, appreciate it, but with it comes, adulthood and this is a social contract. There are expectations.

Thus our common sense has to kick in, it has to equalize with our personal choice. It has to be a reminder to do the right thing, say the right thing, or there will be consequences. When we are adults we are held to a different standard. We are presumed, as adults, to be responsible, respectable, honorable. Yet, from our personal experiences, we know this not to be the case. Not every adult is. In fact many range from disrespectful to despicable. Cruel and arrogant. Biased and Self-centered. We have to have the common sense to navigate past them.

“Things do not change; we change.”― Henry David Thoreau, Walden

With personal choice, comes responsibility and there are many people who do not make the right choices. Their common sense, their judgment, based on their experiences, is very different than our own. We might never understand their impetus. For us personally, however, we can recognize the truce between common sense and personal choice and accept that within us, we have nuance and depth- just as everyone else does. 

“Don't find fault, find a remedy; anybody can complain”― Henry Ford

As I tell my students every day-

"You are 13 and your brain is 13 and your common sense is 13 and your personal choices, they are yours and yours alone. It is my job to understand this and adapt to it- it is your job to be productive, mindful 13 year old's."

The Feeling Returns (19)

Me

This is how many people feel. It leads to anxiety and depression. For me it is rare because I tend to keep to myself. I am generally a happy person but I do not have many friends. I am an ambivert. Quiet most of the time and in some instances, when I decide to put myself out there, outgoing. But I tend to get the cold shoulder. 

I guess I am better in small doses because I tend to not follow a logical path all the time and this is awkward. So most people tend to encounter with me briefly. Even when I am trying to make a friend, I generally end up alone like a wall flower. Thus this story is about a recent encounter- left me a bit defeated indeed.

Myself

I saw it in the mirror before I heard it, the collapse of spirit. It shown through in a facial expression, down turned lips, red cheeks, then a slow amassing tear and when it made its way down my cheek, I heard the sob. The sound so familiar, the chest shake so familiar. The thought so familiar "They hate me." 

You would think I'd learn to cope with the loss of friendship, I have encountered it all my life. They talk to me briefly, then decide, in a moment or two, there is someone better nearby to talk to and they hightail it away in a sprint. They see someone near to be friends with, other than me. I see the moment, the split spark of self-preservation before they even know themselves. 

This time, I choose to retreat, put my shield up- I can see that look. This gives them an opportunity to venture off without the awkward. I see them later, laughing and engaged in conversation with someone else. Another one of them. It has always been them and me. I can't compete because I do not know all the rules and the ones I do know, I can't seem to follow. So is this my fault?

They venture into my orbit out of necessity and boredom but leave out of guilt. The guilt that they don't want to get to know me. Because if they did- they would have to talk to me about more than grades, lessons and pacing guides.

Now I hear it before I see it. My inner voice whispers a warning. "Speak slow, concise- make eye contact." Then I see my face, a mental image of my flat pursed lips, eyes wandering and know they are going to 'not get me.' I try so hard sometimes- I create awkward and most people- don't like awkward. I stay, retreat in my mind to my safe place. I hate feeling like I don't belong, but I don't want them to know that.

This feeling takes me to a dark place- spit balls landing in my hair, snickers and sideways glances. You know when someone tolerates you. It's a constant tell- and I know all the tells. We know each other well. I just get angry at myself when I forget and invest my emotions- then this dark place takes hold and I fall under its spell.

I

"Hello my friend, welcome back. You made a fatal error tonight- you have to remember, Don't Try To Make friends- they never last"

I guess I am better not in person. 

I am better in small doses.

I choose pen to paper rather than face to face interactions because I know I will feel this way after, if it is more than a casual conversation. My sanctuary is my isolation. My spectrum I guess.

Kids- they tend to like me just fine. I get along with most students. They sense it. They have the quirk too. Until they conform, until they lose it. The quirk, utter openness. Inhibitions curbed. I live this way and for many it is unnerving. 

I want to fit in, desperately. But I never do. As an adult others seem to just tolerate me. I keep trying though. I am alone again. And that feeling returns- I feel it before I see it or hear it. A deep seeded sadness. But it is fleeting, because it is normal. It is a reminder to keep trying eventually someone will move past the awkward.

Life Has No Obligation to Give You What You Expect (17)

Life has no obligation to give you what you expect- Margaret Mitchell

Obligations

Obligations are constraints. Moral requirements. Societal norms. They are boundaries, enclosing our free will at times. They are behavior restrictions. Much like those we enforce within the walls of our classrooms. Sit in your seat, keep your hands to yourself, be kind.

They also have consequences when we do not conform to them. A bad grade, detention, isolation, even ostracism. For many these obligations are integrated into their mindset, they are rule followers. They prefer a strict code of conduct, that way they can adjust to anyone who does not follow them. Obligations provide a measurement on which to mark our advancements and interactions.

Obligations are necessary. They do create a framework upon which civilization and community are built. They crumble, they hold strong- they are foundational and yet very much auxiliary. We use them to supplement as much as we use them to reinforce long lived notions of order and commonwealth.

They do not always form a coherent equality, often hindering many from participating within the confines of justice and freedom. We believe we can obligate and yet still provide the freedom to think for ourselves. Can we? There is a fluidity, between community and obligation where this can exist, many strive for this freedom and prosperity, to become common place, but at times we fall short.

We must realize we are often blinded by our need for obligation and our desire to make sure we feel comfortable. We often do things we feel are better for those around us, we try to make sure everyone is getting what they need. But we can't. We can teach others to help themselves. We can provide the opportunity for growth, we can be mindful and remind others of their strength and their beauty. We can provide tools, but we can’t make sure everyone is taken care of exactly how they need to be. This has troubled me since my youth.

“Whatever it is you're seeking won't come in the form you're expecting.”
― Haruki Marukami

All we can guarantee is our actions. If they reach the expanse of our population, we are called heroes, entrepreneurs, saviors. Yet, most of us reach the breadth of our orbit. The stretch of our domain. We are local contractors and this is just as important. All we can guarantee is that we speak and act with kindness, within the walls of our daily obligations. 

We must accept that we are not all the same. We are not the same race, gender, identity. We do not all live in situations of economic prosperity, safety and convenience. We do not all think the same, act the same, believe the same things. Our opinions are as vast as the universe itself. When we look into the night sky and marvel at the billions of sparkles and shimmers looking back at us- we do not judge them for their varying luminosity. We just appreciate their brilliance.

Expectations

In the case of uncertainty, expectation is an occurrence that is considered to be the most likely to happen. Sometimes it is entitlement based. Others wish. An expectation, which is a belief that is centered on the future, may or may not be realistic. Yet, we all have them. Every single one of us. But, they often stem from our obligations. We wish the day would go faster so we can get home and relax. We hope ‘they’ notice us.

We desire a vacation, having confidence that one will be happening soon. When it doesn’t, it gives rise to the emotion of disappointment. Expectations are tricky- they keep us focused and engaged and all the while they are like obligations. They place constraints. They urge us to follow moral requirements and social norms. They create boundaries- because if we expect something, we often stay nearby to get it.

When expectations and obligations merge, and we truly expect those around us to oblige to their responsibilities, we can become quite disappointed. We place our values, our rules, routines and reasoning upon others. This is where we often go wrong. We can’t expect those around us to make our lives happier. We can only expect us to do that. But, we can expect some help along the way if we are not being given the tools we need to survive and thrive.

Within our classrooms we have a lot of obligations: rules and routines that students are required to follow if they are to be considered a good student. We place our expectations of what a good student means upon them. There are many students that: come to school, sit in their seats, behave, do their work and follow all of the rules. We often ignore them because they checked the box. Instead we give attention to those who are struggling to oblige. We try to fix them based on our expectations. When what we should do, is let them find their expectations of themselves and allow them to find a way to oblige to the school and classroom norms.

Our expectations are often much stricter than what students can provide. We must expect them to be their age- to be following the norms of that age group- not the expectations of ours. We will never be free of obligations. We will never be free from expectations of those around us and ourselves. But, we need to make our expectations reasonable and appropriate. We need to see the expanse of humanity as the luminous and beautiful spectacle that it is. It truly is a vast, sparkly, often cold and void place, much like space. Yet it is also an expanse of great opportunity and fulfillment. It is as mammoth and monumental as each individual within it.

We need to accept the unexpected. Not be angry at surprises. Welcome the chance to help create an environment within our classroom, our orbit with flexible, pliable expectations. Because each situation is different, each class period is exclusive and each student has their own expectations, their own personal obligations and to make sure they fit into ours- they have to have some time to just be themselves.

“We cannot expect people to have respect for law and order until we teach respect to those we have entrusted to enforce those laws.”
― Hunter S. Thompson

Mindfulness Can Come in Classroom Combinatory Play (15)

Curiosity Cliff

We have this image of what a genius is- a person who has these amazing ideas, all the time. The individuals brilliant and insightful, day and night. A person for whom things come easily - that have minds more advanced somehow. But, this is not necessarily the case. Yes, they have ingenuity, wisdom and confidence- but they also get distracted, discouraged and overwhelmed like the rest of us. What they have mastered is the ability to take their curiosity, imagination and creativity and hone in on solutions, innovations and unfold a new strategy never even considered. In other words, not necessarily inventing something new, but looking at things in a unique way.

We all have curiosity, imagination, creativity and problem-solving skills. Curiosity is the cliffs edge, imagination the turbulent waters below, creativity the leap- do you dive, jump or slowly climb down the precipice? You have a choice, do you make a splash quickly, or take the long way around, dipping into the current slowly? We are constantly longing for this view, both anticipatory and exciting, but on occasion we doubt ourselves and begin to dwell inside a cave: dark, dank and isolated- where we feel defeated and overwhelmed. So many people surround the cave, however. They too are gazing upon the blue waters, waiting to take the plunge. All we need to do is turn around.

Combinatory Play

Where do we get the determination and motivation to pivot? There are times when we simply get bogged down with new ideas. The ‘ether’ I call it, is bombarding us with visions and speculations, we are simply trying to make sense of. We must find a way to separate ourselves from them, distance ourselves from the noise. Albert Einstein used a technique he called, combinatory play. Combinatory play is the “act of opening up one mental channel by dabbling in another.” In other words, it is taking two unrelated things and putting them together to generate new ideas. Einstein would play violin to overcome a challenging equation. The simple act of walking away from the blackboard and doing something else, playing music, helped the numbers fall into place. This strategy does not set apart geniuses from the masses, but rather, it is a technique any creative person will tell you is invaluable. So how can we use this strategy in our classrooms, to help our students find their cliff?

First, we need to see our learning environment not as a testing ground, where demographics and data scramble the focus. We must see our classrooms as launching points, the cliff above the sprawling ocean, of ingenuity and self-advocacy. We must see the strategies we implement as benefitting all, not just the majority. If a new drug, tested by pharmaceutical companies gets a 57% success rate, they call this ready for market. What about the other 43%? If the techniques are not elevating everyone, preparing them for the dive of knowledge, then we need to find alternatives that will. Looking at the vastness of the sea may intimidate many students, but if we model the jump, leap ourselves, they will follow.

Classroom Dabble

This dabble in something that may not be content related, might put some teachers on the defensive. “That is just playing around,” many will say. However, if we implement these, quick bursts, students will get more creative and innovative. Purposeful distractions are not a bad thing. If we redirect after a set time and monitor the process, we can create these moments of regeneration of imagination, that are meaningful, purposeful and fruitful. They will be beneficial, rejuvenating and they will provide a moment to spark new ideas.

Combinatory play can be integrated in many ways: Create a makerspace, to design and tinker but also to just play for a bit with Lego or Play-doh. Use a whiteboard, chalkboard or even table tops to design a class graffiti wall, a place where students can write poetry, draw cartoons, or even just graffiti. Even a mingle menagerie, interactive group activity, works great for combinatory play. An example: let students participate in a scavenger hunt for clues about an on-going puzzle or class problem. The distraction of the hunt, gets them out of their heads temporarily, letting the solution, to the current class challenge present itself.

I like to make sure combinatory play is not simply a time to talk, but an active, tactile experience- this is when my students focus is redirected, when they let go of what is stunting their thinking. Then, after a brief discussion, they go back to the daily activity, with a clear perspective. This seems like a brain break, but often brain breaks are content related, they are think-pair-share or just a shift of perspective, while combinatory play, is stepping away from content, for the connections to be able to form, in a more organic, natural way. This lifts the fog and allows the sunlight to reach the glimmer of blue, the shimmer of the waves that beckons us up the hillside, lures us out of the cave, and brings us to the edge. The next step, that choice is up to them.

Combinatory play, like mindfulness is not necessarily a trait everyone possesses innately. Students know how to let their inhibitions down and play- but often in a classroom setting they stay reserved, not knowing exactly how to let loose in the academic surroundings of school. Yet, with daily or weekly practice it can be integrated into classroom life. Bringing curiosity alive and making the cliff of imagination less scary and more thrilling, so students learn to rely on one another as they take the leap into problem-solving, self-awareness through mindful play and the fun of learning.

Hydroponics in the Classroom (13)

Hydroponics is a great way for students to investigate alternative way to grow plants, but also to see them growing from seed. My students were very excited when they walked in the door Friday to see this all lit up. With the water flowing inside- it sounds like a trickling stream. At first its a bit distracting- the lights are very bright. But it didn't take long for students to blend it in with the rest of the classroom habitat.

We planted various types of lettuce on Friday. Today there are sprouts already breaking their way through and they are very intrigued at how fast they began to push through the mineral topping. Some students are taking pictures every day and after they are fully grown, we will create a time lapse video.

After about three weeks the lettuce will be fully grown and after six it will be overlapping and flourishing. These pictures are from the same model/vegetation planted at our STEAM center. What to expect in a few weeks.

a great adventure awaits- and plenty of salads too. In the spring we plan on planting some flowers to brighten up our classroom.

A Pocket Full of Shells (11)

Word choice matters. I know some people who speak very carefully, almost compulsively- you know when you are talking to them, that they mean exactly what they say. They are precise, decisive, and literal. They leave no room for interpretation, because they say exactly what they mean. I find this fascinating and impressive. This takes a certain way of thinking: linear, categorical- something I myself lack. I have so many thoughts, all vying for the same attention, most of the time. I spend so much time, organizing and prioritizing, I could never speak so absolute. 

A pocket full of shells. I heard this phrase yesterday and it got my mind peaked. I knew out of these five, simple words, a blog post would come to fruition. Writing precisely, expressly, authentically, this I can do. That is why I tend to do that over speaking. I tried to podcast for a bit, I found it emotionally draining, I just couldn't get my words to flow into a cohesive package. This is a skill, a talent. Podcasting is words melodic. Words both accurate and succinct with flare and pizzazz. I found out pretty quickly, I am a women of the written composition, not the oral one. I may hone my verbosity in the future but for now, I will focus on writing.

A pocket full of shells. Such a succinctness to it. You can see it, a pair of Bermuda short pockets, wet and packed with scallop, cockle and sundial carapace. Their husks sandy and gritty from their journey. Some broken, fragmented and sharp, others smooth and ridged with swirls of white and pink, a few hints of yellow. As children we walked the beach collecting these former critters, in winter, spring or summer. Cold evening breeze or warm summer sun- the beach was not just a place of sunbathing or taking a gentle stroll, but shell collecting for so many of us. That phrase- it triggered a memory.

It also brought forth the idea of how simple, direct phrases, poetic or literal, can really open up the mind for personal interpretation. A pocket full of shells. To some it may trigger the same memory it did for me. I have jars of shells, bleached and preserved. I haven’t been to the beach in several years, but every time I look at the jars, I can almost hear the sound of the waves, smell the saltiness of the brine and feel the crispness of the mist of the ocean. It’s visceral.

For some the statement, may have brought to mind, clutter or dirty souvenirs. Something that ends up on the floor of the car, mixed in with the grains of sand from flip flops and beach towels. A nuisance. I have to admit sand, to me is a nuisance. I am still finding traces of it in my car several years later and when I empty my beach bags before we venture to the pool. While vacations come and go, sand is permanent. Not only in the fact that it is minerals and rock, broken down over eighty million years, but that it’s persistent. Once you come into contact with it, it literally follows you home. Go sand. But the shells, they are a keepsake. We choose to take them home with us. Shells, like beautiful words, inspiring prose, we seek out and collect.

Sea shells are also the remains of the millions of sea creatures that have inhabited this Earth at some point over our long existence. They are a beautiful reminder of decomposition, recycling, renewal and sustainability. So that simple phrase- A pocket full of shells-  it took me to the science too. Right? I told you my mind is never quiet.  Instinctual triggers, scholastic triggers and sentimental triggers are always bombarding me. It is why I think my words are better suited for pen to paper rather than a microphone.

Word choice matters. Mindfulness matters. Reflection matters. So when we are traversing the fluidity of our sandy, rocky shores of life, when our footprints are washed away by the consistency of the ocean, our essence remains. That the carapaces of our words, scattered upon the beach of social media, are positive and enduring. We must choose our words with mindfulness, so as they are gathered, collected and put in clear, glass jars- they trigger a memory of inclusiveness, positivity and joy. 

This is the gift of words, but also their curse. Word choice matters. The choice to be the smooth, white, soft sands- with collaborative support, compassion and innovation or the choice to be the rocky, gritty, sharp sands, piercing and destructive. Both lie beneath the feet of so many. Both we as a society must walk across to reach the stirring, nurturing, often trenchant waters of connection. Both are a choice. We can keep our shoes on and avoid the scars, or choose to build a boardwalk. Either way, we can still see the shells, sand and opportunity.

I prefer to walk upon the sand, where I can remove my shoes and feel the comfort of the grains between my toes, feel its strength and endurance. I prefer to gather the sea shells from those types of beaches. Don’t you? Sometimes, I end up with bloody soles. But I will always choose the path of growth. No matter the discomfort. Collaboration and community is important. Personal joy is important. Do what you love. If you don't love it, let it go. Find your niche. 

Word choice matters. Experience matters. 

The shells that fill our pockets, they matter to us alone. The sand that comes along with them, they are part of the journey.

Student Mantras: To Feed or Not to Feed (Which Wolf) that is the Question (9)

We had a follow -up lesson: discussion and writing prompt today to warm them up before the quiz. The writing prompt was: "Write a mantra that you use, or will use tomorrow, when you are anxious, angry, or sad." After students wrote them in their mindfulness journal, we shared them as a class. Some of them were amazing. I was like, whoa, I am totally going to use that one. Out of the mouths of students. I mean very cool. Below are some of my favorites.

"Its all for something better"
"I always go worst case scenario- think differently."
"It is all to make me see the world with new eyes."
"There are many paths to good."
"Learn not to get angry at surprises."
"6:30-6:30, I can make it twelve hours." (She wakes up at 6:30am and eats dinner at 6:30pm and she says this helps her chunk her day into manageable pieces)
"Live today, learn for tomorrow."
"Procrastination is my anxiety, do things now and that will go away."
"Fear not the future, if you look it will become noticeable."

Students enjoyed sharing there mantra's. Some students chose not to, claiming they have used a corny one since they were four, or its personal. This is expected and perfectly acceptable. I love though, that so many wanted to share theirs. It made for a great conversation.

Then we discussed the video we watched a few days ago. I have it linked here in case you missed my blog post on Tuesday. http://www.viewpure.com/vzKryaN44ss?start=0&end=0

Tuesday was our first day back and our mindfulness lesson was a bit longer than normal to just re-sync us as a community. A little self-awareness and reflection never hurt anyone. Especially 12-13 year old's. That lesson was amazing. So today, before our quiz I knew tying today's warm-up back to it, seemed like a great way to remind them, of their new strategies to stay calm and focused.

I asked them to close their eyes and think of two things: A time within the last 24 hours where their angry wolf was fed and a time within the last 24 hours when their positive wolf was fed. Then we revisited their mantra's. And I asked them- would your new mantra maybe have helped you cope with your angry wolf a little bit better? It was a great conversation and it lasted 7 minutes. It is very easy to incorporate mindfulness lessons into your classroom.

On January 20th at a district PD day, I am teaching these strategies to my colleagues in the district. In fact, there was so much interest, I am teaching it twice. It makes me very happy that mindfulness is becoming more mainstream in education. It is misunderstood and I am trying, day by day, to inspire other teachers to incorporate it into classroom life and to make sure they know how easy and inspiring it is for students. It takes a week or so to get them all on board, but it is a wonderful thing- I can't tell you how much more positive and engaged my students are. We started in August and now, it is very much a thread that runs deep throughout the fabric of our classroom culture.

It's not too late to begin. Last year I started my mindfulness lessons in January and it made a huge difference. Every day they think about their actions, write about pitfalls, peaks and feeding the angry wolf or the positive wolf. I know it has made a difference- I see it and feel it every day, in every class. You will too, I promise.

Do You Feel It? The Change in Behavior and Focus?: A Students Perspective (7)

"Whoa, this is cool."
"Check it out, the tables are so open and scattered."
"I love the different types of tables, feels like a cafe."

Yes, these are the responses I was hoping for. Very rewarding when inspiration leads to a well executed plan. Today, our first day back was awesome. For many reasons: Furniture arrangement, classroom design, choice, mindfulness lesson and purposeful conversation are just a few of them. Coming back from a long break is hard. Our focus is lacking, its difficult to get wake up early after sleeping in late for awhile, our mindset is not aligned with learning new stuff. We often forget our mindfulness, because we have been out of our routine.

So today as much for me as for them, I had another mindfulness lesson. We generally talk kindness and mindfulness at the beginning of the class every day but today we spent fifteen minutes, just reconnecting and realigning as a classroom community. The warm up question: What two things upset you, or make you stressful through out most days and how do you cope or deal with them? This sparked a lot of discussion. Mostly, not about complaining or venting, but on their actions in dealing with the stressful situations.

"I yell at my younger brother."
"I throw something, or say something mean."
"I retreat and try not to deal with my frustration."

After about five minutes of reflection- I introduced a video clip by saying- "It is none of their business that we are mad at them. It is our business to deal with our emotions. It is alright and expected, that we will get mad and anxious- it is our awareness and strategies on how to overcome these, that makes us mindful."

This is the video clip I showed. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vzKryaN44ss

After they watched it, I can't believe how engaged they were, they had purposeful talk discussions at their tables. It was beautiful to watch their expressions and realizations. During a class discussion, we talked about anger and how it alright to be angry, we need to embrace it. But we need to remember to feed the positive, loving, compassionate wolf. Both wolves need to be expressed. We just have to make sure we let our anger and frustration go. Then they wrote in their mindfulness journals: "It is none of their business that we are angry. It's our business and we have to deal with our business. They have their own business to attend to."

After our mindfulness discussion students began their exploration of local Texas flora and fauna. They were asked how turtles, squirrels, and bugs alike and how and why are they different? We have not spoken about adaptations yet, this is the introduction to the unit and I had them use Texas Wildlife articles from Critter Connections Magazine, to really get them thinking about what they see around them. Local flora and fauna. Since the classroom was rearranged into smaller table settings, more meaningful, purpose conversations ensued.

At the end of class I asked them, table by table, what they noticed about the classroom culture.

"It seemed lighter, calmer."
"We don't feel like were having a classroom conversation, but more personal ones."
"I like the new design, you were able to move around more and sit down with us."

Mindfulness lesson, purposeful talk, science and investigation all in a new configuration and together, these set the tone and spirit, for a great first day back.

From a Dining Room Classroom Ambiance to a Coffee House Vibe (6)

My classroom has always been a place of conversation, interaction- a dining room style setting. Tables set up in long dining room table configurations. In the fall, it is a great way to spark discussions- a "pass the potato's" feel. But now after the holiday break I want students to come back to a different set up. A different atmosphere, mood, tactility. Today is a teacher work day. So I rearranged my room, took posters off the wall and added new focal points.

Now my classroom is more of a "stay awhile and have a cuppa joe" or "get comfortable my refill will be here soon" So now there are a few tables coming out from the wall, individual tables scattered about the room. It definitely feels more like a cafe now than a family dinner spot. It is a dramatic difference and I know when my students enter tomorrow, they are going to sense the alteration in spirit and aura. This should set the tone for the next semester.

Rather than having students pick up papers off the table, family style- I now have baskets on each table and the papers are in there. Almost like table tents, menus. This will get students to their seats much quicker and get them settled into learning.

I always have warm-ups but now, we will have a mindfulness prompt, a quick discussion and then our science probe will be displayed on the Smartboard- the menu board per se. This way they are reminded of the calm and focus that is appreciated before we begin our day. This should take no more than 5 minutes.

I have been doing this for awhile but I also had my science prompt displayed up at the beginning of class, for those who finish early. But they need to be brought in incrementally. Keeping them mindful with personal awareness and patience is so important and now I am going to focus just on mindfulness- no papers, no science for 5 minutes.

STOMP- stand, think, optimize, mindful, presence. It is my strategy (see earlier blog post) and it has worked great all year but it needs a little tweak. An update.

So every day will be a different letter focus, at the end of the prompt. A quick reminder. Then once a week we will do a ten minute step (one of the 5) more in-depth. This way when students are settling into the flow of daily classroom life and I am taking attendance they are focused on just one thing- mindfulness. Then once per week we can do a sum up and a bit more practice. I know I need a refresher and a reminder after the holidays, but not all at once. It is good to do brief, lessons, it gets overwhelming if it is all at once. So my plan, ease in to daily, classroom discussions.

I am hoping the new classroom design will help my students stay on track. Refocus their energy on a small group mentality, rather than a family dinner. Winter is the time we all get antsy and distracted because we have a long time until our Spring Break. The lull often causes boredom and misbehavior. Our next break is not until mid-March. So this is phase one of from dining room ambiance to a coffee house vibe. Phase one to stir things up and keep students and myself on collaboration, personal responsibility and purposeful, intentional conversation. More to come.

Before (Dining Room Ambiance) "Pass the potato's"

After (Coffee House Vibe) "Waiting for my cuppa joe"

When You See a Good Move, Look for a Better One (4)

The Ascent

The further they lure you away from your truth, the weaker your moves become. The narrower your path. The more distracted you get. The more complacent you are. You begin to react, its subtle at first, more like them.

You see things, hear things, feel things that make you believe you want to go further, wander off, because its easier to follow the pack than it is to travel alone. You had a plan, you drew a map, made a list, packed a backpack. You took out your compass and started your hike.

When you saw them cliff side, looking out over their view, their landscape, you were tempted to stop. Yet, you kept climbing. Brush became thick foliage, which became tall, hearty trees, protecting you. You found your base camp.

The silence was invaded by laughter, conversation, camaraderie. You smelled their bonfire, saw the flames licking the sky, their sky, their campsite. Yet, you pitched your tent in the solitude. It felt good to be separate.

So, in the morning you ventured further on your hike, forgetting about the travelers nearby. You drank clean, crisp water from the mountain stream. You buried yourself in natures arms- watching, listening, feeling connected with the equilibrium it offered.

You felt as much alive as lonely. Your move, was no move.

When You See a Good Move, Look for a Better One

Stop trying so hard. I mean seriously. You know what happens when you do. You lose sight of your truth. You begin to kaleidoscope. All you need to do is breathe. In, out....in, out....in, out. Close the gap. Narrow the view. Hone in on the purpose. 

Feel the pieces falling away from the board, one by one, until there is only one way to go. Look past the animation, the special effects and just immerse yourself in the why? Why do I find myself in this version, this side-quest, this campaign? Identify your move. 

Not the right move, not the winning move, not even the most strategic- but your move. You'll know it when you see it. When you see a good move, look for a better one. When you know it, when it becomes part of you, do not hesitate. Make your move.

The Descent

The game is afoot- its always been in motion. We all have a role to play. We are all participating, we have no option. 

But we have a choice on which role we are playing. We often play the fighter, the warrior- battling ourselves as much as others. We play the mage, the spell-caster, the cleric- magical yet lacking in the physical strength to take on the hoards of trolls alone. We must find a balance between these two archetypes because together- they are the wisdom, the fortitude to find the right solution.

To keep things interesting, we play the thief, the ranger to venture away from our true nature, to explore new possibilities. To go against the norm. Not to steal but to acquire, new moves, new strategies, new insights. To take one step further up the trail- alone. 

Yet, once the precipice is sturdy below our feet, we have to pause. To see our view, our landscape. But also, to reach out and take a hand. So the descent is a safe one. 

Where is My Mind, My Name is Human (2)

Where is my mind? Where it has always been. It gets clouded sometimes. Words get trapped in its folds. It takes time for me to unravel the barrage of notes, melodies, harmonies. The ultimate piece is just out of reach- I tend to get a chorus or just a ditty. But my mind is my mind and for once it is just going to speak.

Okay so here is a bitter truth. Many days I am happy, content. Seriously I am. I preach mindfulness and not to just seem positive. It’s not a brand, I promise. I firmly live in the realm of mindfulness. Plant my feet in its soil every day. I drink it in every day. Sometimes it sprinkles, sometimes it pours. But it is always there. It’s not just a word or behavior to me, it’s a spirit, the comfortable blanket I wrap myself in every day. Honestly, I am a positive person, I see the good in people, yet, I also internalize way more than I should. I am only human after all.

It seems unlikely right? Bitter truth, its likely. Mindfulness is here in my mind.

Before I put my feet on the floor in the morning, I hang them off the side of the mattress, let them dangle for a while and then I say my intentions for the day. Usually three, I like a set of three, seems doable, with a little push to stretch myself for the day. Its human nature to set goals, make lists, organize our lives into something manageable- a guidebook, it’s human nature. My intentions are always positive. Then my do-over is something I need to work on like- forgive that comment you are dredging up every five minutes, seriously let it go. Yes, my mindfulness sometimes has a storm- its trying to keep it internal that keeps me mindful.

My morning intentions can be simple- smile, breathe. They can be specific- connect with a certain student today, eye contact and a positive affirmation. They can be lofty- be a moment of joy for someone, be a good friend today. Lofty because, maybe friendship with me is never going to happen. I am I have been told, a fast talker, kind of exhausting. This put me in a tail- spin for days. Now when I am around this person, I am no longer myself, I talk slower, more focused on my cadence than my words.

It’s something I have to work on- not them. Impression is personal and no matter what we do, it’s not for us to change. But, when we know about them, they shape us. They alter our perceptions of ourselves. It’s human nature. My intentions have thus altered a bit, they are more focused on what I can do, not on their impact on others.

Bringing joy to someone’s life can be lofty for many reasons: people may not want joy, maybe their day requires they get up in the morning and walk around in a cloud of Sulphur. Who am I to judge? Yet, it is my nature, Melissa’s nature to spread mindfulness, often to the chagrin of those around me. Maybe they are dealing with something they are not ready to share. Sometimes leaving someone alone can bring joy. This I have to work on- finding the balance between trying to help by a smile and conversation or just a smile. Bitter truth, not everyone likes me.

Some days though, I am just not in a positive mood. I hold a grudge, I am focused on something that went wrong, a negative comment. I am restless, eager for change and I feel trapped in the mundane. Most days I don’t mind the mundane- it’s the ritual, the routine that keeps my mind focused.

However, I tend to ‘burn the candle at both ends’ I was reminded of this by a colleague just yesterday. I struggle with saying no. To reign in my regiment of trying new things, taking risks, the need to innovate. Here is the bitter truth, I need the approval of my work, the recognition of a job well done, the acknowledgement of my time. When I don’t, I feel bad about myself. I feel slighted somehow. Insane right? Actually, in the scheme of things, its human nature.

The thing about me though, I bounce back really fast. I feel frustrated for a bit but then I quickly see a new opportunity to get creative. Another bitter truth, I venture so far outside my comfort zone, I lose my way back. The thing is a comfort zone is there for a reason. Not to fence in, but to provide the shape of the foundation, to wind with our whims and spontaneity.

It is not a box, but a wall we can leap over, because without the barrier, we often feel we haven’t earned freedom. It generally does not lead us to somewhere we don’t need to be. In fact, its graffiti ravished interior of past failures, future possibilities are not advertisements, not reminders, but predictions. All it takes is for us to jump over. Its human nature to want to feel safe, yet long for something bigger.

With a name comes an ambiance and aura that creates a self-image. I have a name it is nothing special. I mean I like my name, but it’s not unique to me. I searched it on Google and records indicate that 745,408 girls in the United States have been named Melissa since 1880. Now in the scheme of things, with over 7 billion people on the planet, it’s kind of unique, but it is a name given, not chosen. I have a species name. I have a title, a profession, a role. I even have a sense of self, purpose. But ultimately, in the scheme of life, reality- my name is human.

When we can peel back the layers, that is what we are- human.

We need not feel guilty of feeling bad about ourselves, comparing ourselves, hiding ourselves. We need not feel ashamed of our need for connection, appreciation, acceptance. We need to share our feelings because when we hold them in, the pressure starts to crumble that wall. Then, we spend all of our time rebuilding rather than forming relationships.

The basic human need is companionship, camaraderie, community. Yet, ultimately personal growth, personal compassion, personal whimsy and personal joy is the glue. Sometimes, being human, we put all our energy in how they see us, not how we see ourselves. We mold and conform to an image they stamped on the outside of our wall and ignore the beautiful graffiti our lives have left for us to admire.

It is not selfish to focus on you. Do what you need. Feel what you need to feel. Awareness is the cement structuring mindfulness, allowing it to grow higher, stronger. We need a view on which to gaze upon. We need to know ourselves in the larger human nature, we find ourselves in. We need the fortification, the draw bridge. The temple, the garden, the isolation.

But we also need the music of life, the laughter and optimism that awaits us when we collide with the orbits of others. Just remember an orbit is personal, a solar system has those who orbit beside you, help hold you in place. Ultimately a galaxy, however endless it may seem, is the main celestial home of humanity. Find those you collide with and keep your orbit steady- that is true human nature. I don’t know about you- but my true name is human.

Where is my mind? Right here, a cloudless day. Very shiny indeed.

This post dedicated to you HJG. A cloudless day every day for me.