The Truce of Common Sense vs. Personal Choice (21)

Sound practical judgement helps keep us safe. Helps us make the right decisions. It is our basic ability to reason, think things through. Common sense is defined as our awareness, intuition and readiness based on our experiences. Not everyone's astuteness is equal. Some of us are decisive and rational and others of us can be hesitant and doubtful.

Most of us fall in between- when we are confident and purposeful, we tend to be more perceptive and prudent. When we are stressed, frustrated or insecure, we often become divided, leaving things uncertain and wavering. But no matter our disposition our background, maturity and wisdom guide us, to our action and practicality.

"Don't let the wish be the father of the thought"

Is common sense common? Many believe it is not. The lack of it has lead us as a society, to make many an error in judgement. There is a lot of strife and indignation swirling throughout society. The reaction to this acrimony is as vast as the reasons why people are resentful and exasperated. Everyone has an opinion, point of view.

We all have traditions, histories and upbringings that have steered us into our frame of mind. We did not necessarily have personal choice in much of it. We grew up in a certain city or town, we were born into our families, we went to the schools we were zoned too. So, as a result, a lot of our personal choices were hindered and thus our common sense was shaped without our choice.

Yet somehow there is a truce between our common sense and personal choice. Rather than being at odds consistently, they seem to understand one another and work together as we become adults. Most of us accept the basis of our common sense: childhood, parental involvement, education and social interactions. We understand that as children we were divided from our personal choice in many situations, maybe for the better, maybe out of necessity and safety.

When we become a certain age our personal choices are slowly returned to us. When to go to college, when to go to sleep, what to eat, who to spend our time with and when. We leave the nest and when we do, our choices make their way home, adding to our responsibility, obligation- like an albatross. We feel more personal choice and we experience it, appreciate it, but with it comes, adulthood and this is a social contract. There are expectations.

Thus our common sense has to kick in, it has to equalize with our personal choice. It has to be a reminder to do the right thing, say the right thing, or there will be consequences. When we are adults we are held to a different standard. We are presumed, as adults, to be responsible, respectable, honorable. Yet, from our personal experiences, we know this not to be the case. Not every adult is. In fact many range from disrespectful to despicable. Cruel and arrogant. Biased and Self-centered. We have to have the common sense to navigate past them.

“Things do not change; we change.”― Henry David Thoreau, Walden

With personal choice, comes responsibility and there are many people who do not make the right choices. Their common sense, their judgment, based on their experiences, is very different than our own. We might never understand their impetus. For us personally, however, we can recognize the truce between common sense and personal choice and accept that within us, we have nuance and depth- just as everyone else does. 

“Don't find fault, find a remedy; anybody can complain”― Henry Ford

As I tell my students every day-

"You are 13 and your brain is 13 and your common sense is 13 and your personal choices, they are yours and yours alone. It is my job to understand this and adapt to it- it is your job to be productive, mindful 13 year old's."