What Matters To Me (35)

Today our mindfulness reflection in class, was "what matters to me: personally, socially and in my education?"

Students answered some pretty honest answers: grades, being popular, learning a new language or instrument. As expected. But they also had great conversations about mindfulness- awareness and accepting what they can and can't do. Understanding rules, routines and regulations are there for a purpose. What mattered most to many was the measurable stuff. The tangible stuff.

So on the surface it would seem superficial. BUT, upon deeper observation, more meaningful conversations were taking place, it became clear that believing in themselves, being heard, feeling understood and having a strong, supportive network of friends and family- that mattered most.

It was a purposeful, conversation yet a very enlightening one. I do so love our mindfulness reflection time.

Serendipity or intentionality?

a little of both.

Personal Over Programmatic: Recognition That Digs Deep (33)

Gratitude, acknowledgement, recognition- how many of us receive this consistently? Many of us every day feel pride, design for pride, and yet the pride falls flat because no one takes the time to say thank you, I appreciate what you have done for me.  How often do we say that to someone else? We are all so busy, the hustle and bustle of life is ramped-up these days- so much to do, so little time. We are forgetting to look for the moments. The moments we as humans make one another feel proud, accepted, appreciated.

We all feel it, we blindly greet, eyes diverted at our phones. We, mechanized and automated, move through our days, self-focused, self-regulated. While others are desperately seeking connection. At times we yearn for it- a 'job well done.' Yet, we have to suffice with a thank you. We seek specifics and direct affirmation, but leave wanting. We do the same thing to others: our students, our families and often ourselves- because our minds are focused on the completion rather than the process. We are searching for moments, yet we move past them all the time.

As educators, most of us are in it not for the glory, (what glory right?) not even awards or accolades, but for the sheer joy of the process. Seeing our students faces as they engage in a lesson. Listening to their conversations as they make sense of the content. Noticing their moments of kindness as they interact and collaborate. This is why most of us became teachers. But, we would be deluding ourselves if we said aloud- I never expected a little affirmation for what I do.

Personal appreciation, eye contact and definitive examples of why we are being recognized. Not a 'job well done' but when you put on that puppet show, when you and your students excelled at this tournament, when parents and students came together for SCICON, a night of science- that was amazing because it strengthened relationships and fostered a platform of community. This means a lot more than 'good job.' Yet that is what we hear most of the time- programmatic platitudes.

Next time you read a students paper, watch a students presentation, walk around the room and observe, listen to purposeful conversations- provide personal feedback, meaningful, distinct, clear-cut acceptance and approval and it will mean the world to your students- as much as it does to you.

Awareness is Half the Battle, Noticeable Changes Only Happen with Focus (31)

There are somethings, I am very aware of- I notice them instantly and then I can combat them quickly. My mindfulness strategies work more than they don't.

There are things about myself I need to work on. Acceptance of my faults is a characteristic I have strengthened over the years. But, accepting a compliment is still very hard for me.

There are things I am good at. Things I am not good at and avoid. But, there are also those things I know I need to focus on, to better myself. I get distracted, even lazy, and fall back into old habits. But, I am also looking inward, a lot.

I know I can't be perfectly mindful all the time. I know in my mind, I judge. I misunderstand, I am quick to dismiss things if they frustrate me or are not instantly relevant. I do not like decisions to be made for me.

I am far more patient with my students than my peers. They seem to understand me better. Appreciate me. I feel lost with my colleagues- I feel I do not have a voice. Solitary confinement. I visit and they are in conversation. I am rarely included. An after thought.

I received an award- not from my peers, but from the PTA, parents and educators who know of me- my dedication, my science classes, my mindfulness lessons. They hear things about me from students and parents. They saw something- often unnoticeable by those around me.

This award was mentioned, not emphasized. Later in the month there will be a ceremony. But, at my school it was glossed over. Most recognition is. But, in my heart this award means more than any other because it is not a popularity award, but a teaching one. Acceptance.

Subtlety escapes me. It bypasses most of us- who rarely receive acknowledgement. I know though on the night- a night of many, I will feel connected to other educators in my district who push the limits and help students reach their full potential. I am honored, humbled and in awe that a committee, a group of people in my district, said my name and felt the need to recognize me.

Noticeable changes only happen with focus. Focusing on my words, my interactions, my relationships with students- my strengths, is so important now. If I remain aware- I must make noticeable changes.

I must accept that solitary confinement is a little bit preferred. Meditation during the day is part of my routine and having my space allows me to do it. Sometimes when you choose to be alone- others stay away even when you do not want them to. Accept the subtle. Accept the choices.

There are somethings about myself I need to work on- my communication skills. I get nervous talking to other people- I need to talk to other people. I sometimes stay silent and choices are made for me- rather than with me. They might not ask when they should, but I might not get ahead of the decision either.

Half the battle- dealing with other people is a battle. I stay in my head most of the time. It's easier that way. I have a voice though, an audible one and I need to use it. Mindfulness does not just apply to how you treat others but also how you see and believe in yourself. How you respect yourself- how you listen to yourself.

Noticeable change is on the horizon. People are noticing- recognizing- aware. This is my battle cry.

Educational Evolution: The Inevitable March Forward (29)

Ancestry and Action

There is a common ancestry within our societal, technological and educational evolution as humans. There was a bright idea, a movement, a revolution, that spawned ingenuity and progress. Before there was electricity, people knew there was a way to harness energy and create a safer way to light our homes, other than candles and lanterns. It took a mindset, a drive to move forward, invent, accelerate our society. It took a dream, science and a deep passion to march into the future, in control of our destiny. It took patience and insight.

Change comes in punctuated equilibrium, blasts and bursts, but also in slow, incremental moves. Either way its progress, its evolution, its transformation. Nature, science, technology, humanity- we are all in an inevitable march forward. No matter how random these changes and expansions may seem, they connect somehow. They intertwine and bring about a web-like growth, we often don't see.

What we tend to see is the punctuation- the loud, boisterous maturations that headline the news. Sometimes they feel organic, inevitable - but no matter the fluidity, they start with a spark. A spark of creativity, vision, acumen. A communal divination so to speak. When this happens the wavelength becomes a wave expanse and the movement begins. It starts with a vibration- a Tweet, Post or two. Then it becomes a fluctuation- A chat, news story, mob of protesters. Then it evolves into a rebellion, a cause- a public recognition of what we need to do better, how we can be better.

Education Evolution

Credit for our modern version of the school system usually goes to Horace Mann. When he became Secretary of Education in Massachusetts in 1837, he set forth his vision for a system of professional teachers who would teach students an organized curriculum of basic content. Basic content, but it had to be based around familial need as well, children could learn but were also expected to help out on the farm as well. Then there was a shift.

Public schools in the US were created to educate “the masses” and make them into better workers and better citizens. There were problems of masses of uneducated young people who were rough and tumble, those who did not fit the social acceptability of behavior and intelligence. They wanted to socialize children into becoming respectful and prepared for life. They were focused on creating good citizens, not necessarily ones that could reason and think for themselves.

By 1900, 31 states had compulsory education for 8-12 year olds. It became a way of life for children to attend school. Yet, they remained in rows, facing forward- very little time to socialize except at recess, under penalty of harsh discipline. We have all seen the stereotypical teachers of the 19th and 20th centuries. School marms or strict head masters. But eventually it changed again. High school became the norm after primary school and children were staying in school longer and learning more subjects other than the "three R's."

Finally, classrooms started breaking away from the pack and new designs and set ups emerged, new curriculum was born, new strategies were put into place and eventually- teachers began to get creative. They started teaching in new ways- letting students 'do'. Choose their own way of demonstrating their knowledge. Students could choose how they learn best and how they prefer to take notes and how they need to have information presented to them. Students now had options.

Teachers started letting students collaborate. They began to teach students how to teach themselves, how to think for themselves. They took a step away from the sage on the stage to more of a facilitator role. Desks were flexible, pacing was flexible as long as the curriculum was presented. Students and teachers began to collaborate and plan together. This opened up a new world, popping the bubble of old school education, in its wake.

Where do we go from here? What is the next educational evolution? This is what I dream, I believe, I recognize as our next push ahead. I know for me- this is my inevitable march forward. A classroom where every day, mindfulness is discussed and emphasized. Where positive speak is the norm. Where students are challenged and pushed just beyond their comfort zones, as to get them excited about failure- knowing they can try and try again until they get it. 

A classroom where every one can speak their mind, respectfully. Where no one feels bullied, unheard or like they are not the smartest person in the room. Confidence is key and mindfulness the lock. If we balance the two- there will not be arrogance or self-centered behavior-there will be trust, admiration and cooperation. No one will be left behind, because it will not just be me, on the lookout with an emergency kit, but everyone will have binoculars and triage experience.

If we teach students to reason and think for themselves they will be confident learners. If we give them situations to test this resolve- they will build endurance and determination. If we allow them to struggle- step back and let them struggle, they will grow because they will know they can do it. If we let them talk, work together- urge each other to keep up and excel- they will do so from peer pressure alone. Peer pressure is not a bad thing. It keeps us motivated. If we scaffold learning with bravery and persistence- they will meet our expectations.

There is a constant backlash against education -"It is failing our children." Education itself is a very vast empire of kings and rulers- deciding the fate of many. But it is forged and strengthened by the masses- the under dogs, the worker bees, the commoners- us educators that know the inner workings of a classroom. Us rank and file that no longer wear the uniforms of an army outdated. We are the voice of the new generation of education. We are the true leaders of the inevitable march forward.

Personal Progression

I started teaching because I grew up in an education bubble, in schools where discipline overpowered creativity and individuality. Where teachers lectured and students sat quietly in desks, facing forward- listening and absorbing the best they could. We did not have brain breaks, collaborative- purposeful talk, or makerspaces. It was a different time.

Did I learn? Yes. Did I engage? Sometimes. Do I really remember anything specific I was taught in school? Not really. I did synthesize facts, but not really details. Then as an adult I used the details from college to create my scaffolding for processing the real world. My love of science came from college. My love of reading came from college. My love of learning came from college.

I became a teacher because I wanted the love of science, the love of reading and the love of learning to happen for my students in middle school. I wanted to create an atmosphere of try new things, fail, grow, engage, talk, interact and actively process new ideas. To have fun while learning. To not just create a space for science but one that embodies mindfulness as well. To make sure that as much science was swirling around us- kindness, awareness and confidence was the glue that held us together as a community.

Evolution is inevitable. Are you on board? Join the rebellion. Be that teacher- the one they remember long into college and look back and say- I remember the content and the person. I have taken this memory with me- and it has made me, above all else, a reasoning, mindful, thinker and for this I am grateful.

Thanks for the Feedback (27)

Saying thank you goes a long way. Saying please does too. It is amazing what a little generosity of spirit does for someone else's day. Today in my class we talked about, in our mindfulness lesson, Why are people rude? How can we not be rude in return? What can we do to combat this vicious cycle of negativity.

Students did a great job explaining all the reasons why people may behave rudely:

1- To get some power in a situation
2-Because they feel insecure
3-Because something made them angry
4- Because they are sad
5- Someone was rude to them earlier and they are venting
6- They have a bad attitude

The list goes on and on.

Then we discussed how we can not feed our angry wolf. How we can respond not react. How we can send out into the world positivity rather than negativity:

1- Smile
2- Say something positive no matter what
"I am sorry you are having a bad day, how can I help?"
3- Pause before you speak
4- Think before you react
5-Reaction is full of emotion- Response is more calm (respond not react)
6- Try to understand why- why they are reacting the way they are

If we look for feedback, from ourselves, we will see such beautiful things. We will recognize our level of compassion and we will become kinder, more present and more faithful to humanity and our behavior towards one another.

Always say thank you for the feedback. Let others know you are listening.

Be What You Can Imagine: Incremental Headway - Part One (25)

Be what you can imagine. It is a combination of what you are and what you can be. A chaotic vibration of bonding and deterioration. This image of ourselves, designed by sheer will and experience- it is fantastical. It is miraculous. Energy and matter working in tandem. Atoms combining, joining forces, splitting apart, faster than our minds can even make sense of.

We can't even truly imagine what we can be. It's like looking into the abyss. We only see what we once were, in memories both faulty and fictional. We only remember what our brains have sliced together from the ether. Like editing a movie of our lives. We can postulate, debate and ponder- but ultimately, we can never know for sure, because as we have the thought, conjure the image, we have already changed. Our mental atoms have already rearranged. The ether forever in a state of rupture, rapture and reconstruction.

Our imaginations, vast, hold certain ideals on which we design and build the image of ourselves. We can only be what we can imagine. Which is a lot. The bombardment of magic and faith help us see endless combinations of opportunity and circumstance. Sometimes we see fantastical events full of mystery and suspense- we want to reside in a place of excitement. We want to live in a world of whimsy and wonder where anything can happen.

Yet, we do not know any wizards or mages to cast spells of luck and fortune. We only know the incantations of our own mind speak. These we repeat like a spiritual cadence. "Let me get what I want, let me find a way to make this happen, let me find the strength to overcome, endure, succeed." We believe if we say it enough, the universe will make it happen.

We often live in a world of pure imagination because it is more comfortable there. But we need to inhabit an environment in which we see what we need and get clarity on how to move towards it. Where we have the persistence and tenacity to achieve it. This energy like all energy is never created nor destroyed. It might alter course, to push along a separate idea, but eventually it will return with fervor and a new purpose.

Not all magic is successful. Spells are cast that fall flat- never reaching their intended destination. We lose focus. The distractions of normalcy and routine veer us. But even normalcy and routine carry with them a spark to ignite a new combustion of thought and action. Sometimes it takes the extreme, the unexpected, a jolt of reason to illuminate ingenuity. Creativity does not always find us- no matter how many charms and conjuring spells we put out into the universe.

We don't always get our wish. We don't always find what we are looking for. But if we clear our minds and remember to say our mantra frequently- maybe we will engage with incremental headway. Frequently and faithfully we must believe that what we imagine can in someway become an opportunity. We might not fly to the moon, but we might see our situation from another angle, a new view might just be what we need to land far from where we reside.

Perception rolls are important. When we connect with the ether, let the energy and spirit of opportunity and possibility, change the odds, the world opens itself up to us a little bit more.

The List, The Outcome Visual (23)

The List

A few months ago I spent a day just walking around my room, writing down every negative comment I heard students say. To themselves or to others. It turned out that after 6 class periods I had about 4 full pages of negative comments. This is what inspired the more formal lesson of S.T.O.M.P. Stand, Think, Optimize, Mindful, Presence.

I have always had a mindfulness component in my classroom, but after that day I knew I needed a more consistent, concise, collaborative strategy, that brought in community and personal reflection. Since that fateful day in September, I have been integrating mindfulness in almost every thing we do- warm-ups, brain breaks, ticket's out the door. Every day something about mindfulness and self-awareness.

Last week I decided to walk around the room of all my classes and make another list. This time of all the positive comments I heard students say to themselves or to someone else. At the end of the day I had about four full pages of comments. They ranged from thank you to I appreciate you being mindful right now because I know I was rude to you. Then the next day I walked down the hall during each class change and wrote down every positive and every negative comment I heard.

I expected them to lean towards the negative end of things and there were many negative comments, cussing and just plain mean behavior. But, as it turned out, it was about even with a little more positively than negatively. I noticed a lot of the positivity came from my students, past or present. But, there were so many smiles and moments of  kindness, it warmed my heart.

The Outcome

The lists were eye opening. But, I had to take it further (I tend to do this a lot). The last three days I have been carrying a small pad around with me and I have been writing down every negative thing I think, or say aloud. One day I wrote down every positive thing I thought, the other every negative thing. The third day both- just keeping track of moments throughout the day where I might lean more negative or more positive.

I wanted to see if holding myself accountable for my thoughts and words would make me think less negatively or more positively. Behave differently maybe. I held very strict to my note taking. Generally an upwards arrow and a word or two like- So in so said a positive thing to me, or a downward arrow and a word or two like- fatigued after lunch or loudness in the hallway. Did my behavior or outlook change?

Are you on the edge of your seat? Drum roll....it did. Not only did I think differently, I caught myself in negative thoughts, I steered myself towards positive thoughts. I acted differently too, I smiled more and interacted more and just paid more attention to my actions and words. My posture, facial expressions and eye contact altered. I made sure to be specific with my compliments like- that was a great job because I really like how you used alliteration and onomatopoeia in your puppet show.

But above all else, it altered my perception of my surroundings and the actions of others. I saw not just the behavior, but the impetus for it. I heard rude comments, but rather than focusing on the words, I felt an understanding as to why they were angry enough to say them. Basically I remembered what it felt like to be a middle-schooler.

I remembered to redirect with words like- hey I know you might be stressed out today for some reason but let's remember to be mindful. I slowed down, took a beat and really paid attention to what was going on around me and I noticed a lot of things I usually am too busy to perceive. Students being nice to each other.

Visual 

I am a visual learner. I need to write things down. Reflect in a journal. Write a blog. Words mean a lot to me- they are my musical notes, my brush strokes, my modeling clay. So I knew if I was going to make a difference, make myself more aware, hold myself more accountable, I needed to write it down. Not just for reflection but because if I write it down I internalize it, see my error in thinking, own it. So I can be better. More often than not, I do not speak negatively to people. But, I slip up when I am in a frenzy of self pity or exhaustion. I wrote it, I own it- self pity.

I tell students "There is no pity party, feel sad, feel hurt, even if you must feel angry, but let it go and move on." This I am pretty good at. It's the feel it part that often drags me down. I live in a world of self-doubt yet I have enough self-confidence that I bugger on. I need to work on the self-doubt part. So I have decided that the pad is going to be a permanent deal, for awhile at least. Until I am moving around in a space of "I got this." Rather than a space of "Well...maybe I got this." Because honestly,  in the end, after the pity party and self-doubt- I generally got this.

Step one- be brutally honest with yourself- no one is listening.
Step two- reflect at the end of the day and in the morning, but more importantly- frequently throughout the day.
Step three- carry a pad around and write down your thoughts, every time you feel yourself getting dragged to the dark side- make a perception roll. Face your thoughts by writing them down.
Step four- accept that you will throw many pity parties- but you will throw more celebratory ones, especially if you keep track of the guest list.