I've only worked at four schools in my 21 years in education. There were times when as a faculty we felt protected, valued and appreciated. There were definitely times when we as a faculty and me personally, have felt like mere cogs, no alignment just equipment in a machine. Although knowing our purpose and finding our rhythm on a personal level, never felling whole as a community. I hate feeling disparate, isolated and out of sync.
I have had amazing principals and administration. The kind that inspire and evolve with the spirit of the community. There were happy places to teach. But I have seen regime changes bring down morale leading to mass exodus. I feel kind of like that now. The waves of frustration and insecurity are flowing. Negative stances and apathy are running amuck. I am not sure how to combat it some days. Its leaking from the vents, its circulating in the ventilation and it is definitely creating a sense of anxiety in teachers and students alike.
I am trying to keep my head down- focused on my room (that is a safe place, a creative space) but even that seems to be ebbing as of late. Bad behavior like a running competition between students. Apathy is a disease. It is like a cancer slowly degrading the once sunny disposition of our school. Complaining, bickering- its constant. What were once smiles and waves are now down-trodden gaits and sighs of disappointment. It comes in waves I keep reminding myself. But it feels more like a surge this time.
When teachers attend meetings with administrators and their concerns are not addressed- or heard but not valued- it sets a tone. When administrators feel like they know more and set standards that conflict with teacher concerns and daily situations- it sets a tone. When clarity and consistency are only expected from teachers not administration- it sets a tone. The tone is vibrating a rhythm in defiance of the norm. We feel it and our dander is tufted and our anxiety heightened. It is affecting morale, it is affecting discourse leading it into one of complaint rather than creativity.
Walk the walk and keep your head down- right? But when all you hear around you is negative- it takes its toll. When you feel ignored and undervalued it makes what you do meaningless in your mind and the apathy and complacency of others seeps in and entangles you. I do not like this one bit- but I am not sure how to escape the vibe. Even staying away from the deluge, it creeps in. My classroom is not air tight or a vacuum. The inevitable sneak attack is frequent.
I understand that there is a lot of pressure on administrations as well- but you must stop for a moment and listen. You must stop for a moment and observe the facial expressions and gaits of your faculty. We are all worn down and feeling a lot of anxiety. We need to be heard. I am worried about a mass exodus and it will only put more strain on me. So please reset the tone by not hollow words of encouragement but real change and listen to our concerns.
