3 Strategies That Help Build Relationships with Students #13

The moment students enter the building they have expectations. They carry those forecasts and summations follow them as they walk the halls and enter their classrooms. They want to be included, they want to heard, and they want to learn in an interesting and fun way. They want to have 'cool' teachers, nice teachers who teach them something and spark their curiosity and teachers who make the feel safe and loved. Tall order when you think about it. 

I have asked my students every year, for the twenty plus years of my classroom experience three questions about classroom life: What do you need? What do you want? How can I make sure you receive what you need and what you want? The most common answers by far are the ones I listed in the opening paragraph. They appreciate it when teachers tell them stories about themselves, when they make them laugh and when they are patient. But, most students would rather have a stern teacher than an overly permissive one- most students hate chaos and disrespectful behavior.

Over the years I have tried many strategies to try to build relationships with my students. Learn is secondary- contentment and security is priority. If students are hungry, in a fight with their parents, feeling anxious over all of the stresses of life- they will find it difficult to focus. Using brain breaks and mindfulness moments really helps students get a juncture to realign. A flash to focus. When we allow them to just be kids, to escape the bustle of learning- we show them we care.

Here are 5 strategies that I have tweaked and trellised over the years but still continue to implement because they work. Some of them are introduced and practiced- they are part of the classroom repertoire and others are subtle and students don't even realize they are happening. It all comes down to buy in and buy in comes from the energy and excitement in which strategies are unfolded. If we believe in the process- our students will too. Especially when we don't take them too seriously. Sometimes on some days- students just disengage. Its expected but how can we lure them back in? It's all about the relationships you build.

Mindfulness is SEL, with some Personalization

Mindfulness encompasses self-awareness, kindness and positivity. How we can self-regulate, think inwardly and direct our behavior, even in the toughest of times. It's about feeding our positive wolf and not feeding our angry wolf. It is about responding not reacting. Making sure we believe in ourselves and that we look for ways to elevate and support those around us.

SEL, Social Emotional Learning, is an educational strategy where we help our students to manage their emotions, take perspective and empathize with other people. It is a tool where we can help students build respectful relationships and make better personal choices. Mindfulness strategies can be used to aid SEL strategies. The two merge quite beautifully in fact. For me they are one and the same.

I use mindfulness strategies to help my students meet their SEL goals. Every day, consistently, reflectively, we integrate mindfulness into our lessons, we use openers and closers, brain breaks, writing prompts and positive, purposeful speak. It is something we have done since the beginning of the year, but it can be easily introduced mid-year.

Anytime you feel your class needs a positivity boost, these strategies might help your class be more respectful and responsive to one another. My first year I introduced my S.T.O.M.P. strategies after Spring Break and every year since it has been the first day of school. (see my S.T.O.M.P. post from earlier in the year for more about my specific lessons on mindfulness:

https://practicalrebellion.blogspot.com/2019/10/hocus-pocus-its-time-to-focus-stomp-out.html 

Strategy 1- One Minute Check-ins

As educators we are busy: curriculum, pacing, standardized testing. Then school activities and field trips also take some students away from the classroom. Not to mention, extended absences due to illness. So how can we make sure these students are firmly added into the classroom culture? Making sure we chat with them face to face or virtually once a week. Just the two of you. Sharing ideas, exchanging stories, getting to know more about one another.

I set aside 1 minute (minimum) a week to talk to every student. I have two chairs set up across from each other (6 feet apart) and they come and sit and we talk- about curriculum, family life, their hobbies and learning styles. I call them 1-minute check-in's but they tend to roll over into 2-3 minutes. The first one is awkward, but as they become consistent, the students look forward to them. It gives them a chance to ask questions they might not want to ask during class. Plus they love sharing things about their life.

Strategy 2- Mindful Writing Prompts

Twice a week our warm-ups are mindfulness based. They range from- What are you grateful for today? to Why is it important for adults to be mindful to one another? We spend 5 minutes writing the prompt in our notebooks- then we share them as a class. It gets their mindset into be more aware of how they impact others. It is a great way to discuss mindfulness and using it as a jumping off point into the curriculum, lesson for the day.

Strategy 3- Negativity Box/Mindfulness Jar

It is important to be able to vent a little when we are frustrated. It builds camaraderie and allows us to feel safe, sometimes we need to let it out in order to focus on other things.

Along side the negativity box, is a mindfulness jar. This one is clear and shiny. Inviting colorful notes. The purpose of this is for students to share mindful moments: they experienced a moment of kindness, they heard or saw someone else being mindful, they noticed me being mindful and kind. Anything optimistic and happy. This jar fills up pretty fast and I choose the best ones and add them to our positive spirit board.

These are a few synonyms for mindfulness: I ask students to add these to their vocabulary to expand our understanding and expression of what mindfulness means.

diligence
interest
enthusiasm
consideration
prudence
vigilance
concentration
caution
thought
circumspection
direction

Each of these words to me are visceral. They make me feel a totally different thing, yet they are all part of mindfulness. I explain to my students every day that mindfulness is learned. We are not born mindful. We have to practice it. We have to nurture it. We have to cultivate it daily. We are great at it some days and others not so much. We have to forgive ourselves, for the moments when we forget to be mindful and look for moments where we can be, so we can make up for them.

Mindfulness is an on going process with ups and downs and we have to keep both wolves in check. They both are our companions and if we have a classroom full of wolves, its inevitable we will have some clashes. We just need to stay vigilant, diligent and considerate- this will keep our angry wolf at bay more often and our happy wolf full and enthusiastic.