Vantage Point, Unique (256)

 The moment seems to slow time itself, I am watching from a vantage point, unique. My beloved object, gravity against it, falls to the floor. Impact.

The sound like no other, shatters the silence, shutting my eyes, jarring my body with a deep, intense shiver. In this moment, I feel cold, distant, frozen. The sharpness of reality, erasing a part of me, long entangled with the heirloom's presence.

A keepsake once embodying a memory: now shards, splinters, shavings of the past, strewn across the tile floor. The dust of its demise still swirling above.

The instant, pause, respite between what just happened and realization seems to be at a stand still. I remain motionless, staring at the fragments. Not sure if I will cry or just stare. I cry.

I am an adult and I am crying at a loss. A forfeiture of attachment. The floor is cold on my legs as I sit beside the pile. The aggregation becomes something new. Each segment taking on a life of its own. Whispering comfort.

The tears slow and stop suddenly. I simply gaze upon the assortment of porcelain and glass lovingly, releasing the sadness. A mosaic of childhood, adolescence, motherhood jumbled in a dusty mound. I tear up again.

But, the colors begin to talk to me, sighing with a sense of calm and peace. I feel my grandmother near, smiling. "Life is anything but fair." This is an object, material and impermanent. Where she is eternal.

I sit in a stupor for what seems like hours, but my family is behind me seconds after the noise reverberates. They sit beside me, understanding my bereavement and remaining quiet.

Deep breath. Focus. The fatality of this part of me, this connection to her, is final. I see her in my thoughts now: as a child she is hugging me, as an adolescent she is giving me advice that still lives inside me. It has grown around me like a giant embrace, from her. Shaping me, even today.

I have lost something today that meant the world to me. I gained however, an insight I had let slip away, into the crevices of my mind. A beautiful energy. An essence of her, no longer represented by a fragile statue. But a vantage point, unique.