Everyone is Wired Differently: Untangling the Strands and Cords of Student Anxiety (187)

Mysterious Contortion

The cord of the vacuum cleaner- how does it get knotted when its plugged in? We comb our hair; it is nice and smooth and then ten seconds later there is a tangle in it- how does it happen so fast? We organize our Christmas lights (some of us anyway) and put them gently in their box, but the following holiday season, when we open them back up, they are in a messy jumble, how does this happen? The mysteries of cords and strands is on-going.

We have all heard the phrase, "Everyone is wired differently." We know this to be true. Like the vacuum cord and string of festive bulbs, the connections in our brain, our synapses, neurons, and electrical impulses misfire, or fail to fire at all. They do not always get the signal from here to there without a detour. They might get jumbled in the process. So, when we learn new things, when we react to situations, when we see the world through our personal lens, things are uniquely presented in our perspective.

Now, perspectives as we know are personal. We often create them based on fact, logical information. But sometimes we create them and install them into our point of view, when they are based on fiction, misunderstanding and yes, fear. When we are taught, we cannot do something, we are less than, we are not good at something- we build these connections in our brains based on doubt and low self-esteem. These are exceedingly difficult to disengage from. For many of us they follow us, like a nagging relative, reminding us to close the door.

Muddled Messaging

When we are given a roster of students, yes given, as teachers do not choose their class register or schedule- we are presented with a beautiful ensemble of voices, perspectives, learning styles, personalities, and yes- unfortunately, baggage. We all have a knapsack or heavy-duty suitcase we wheel behind us as we learn and grow. We hear every negative comment a teacher directed at us, we see every eye roll of frustration and are scarred by every giggle of a bully.

How do we untangle the labyrinth of self-doubt, hesitation, and childhood luggage? How do we help our students move past these rummages of apprehension? When they re-enter the classroom, this fall- they will be either joining a brick and mortar arena or a virtual one. Either way, they are pivoting from an unstructured summer, a time of misgiving and uncertainty to one of formality and framework. This in and of itself will be challenging.

They will also be recovering from confinement and social distancing. Most will not have had the chance to interact with their peers on a regular basis. They may have been cooped up inside, missed a family vacation, only been able to ‘hangout’ with friends on social media. So how can we as educators help them adapt to a more orderly, methodized frame of mind? We will have to be patient and take it slow. It is going to take time for students to readjust to the routine and deliberate flow of everyday life. Before we can get them to learn, we need to untangle the cords and strands of reclusion and remoteness.

Unsnarling the Tangle

When we enter the classroom, learning needs to be secondary for the first week or so. How to learn needs to be the focus. How to communicate, collaborate and self-advocate need to take precedence. Students are going to be many things when they walk in the door, or turn on their computer screens:

1-    Nervous and squirrely

2-     Talkative

3-     Needy and desperate for attention

4-     Starved of conversation with their peers

5-     Starved of conversation with a teacher

6-     Frustrated and anxious about having to start school again (it is a new grade after all)

7-     Eager to make friends

8-     Eager to please

9-     Worried about how the new routine will look

10- Worried about if they will fit in

11- Worried about how they will be graded

12- Curious about the expectations

13- Curious if you are mean or funny

14- Curious if their friends are in the class

15- Hopeful the content will not be boring

16- Hopeful there will be lots of opportunities to work with other students

17- Fear of working in teams and relying on other students

18- Scared of getting sick

19- Scared of having to stay home all year

20- Plain worried and sad (sad about what they have given up these last few months)

I could go on and on. But all of these threads, these cords and strands of a student’s anxieties and excitement are all tangled and knotted, and it is going to take a calm spirit, friendly face, and mindful demeanor to untangle them. We are going to have to talk about them, set goals and reflect on them. Share our experiences and coping strategies. The thing about personal perspective- it often stays hidden and silent. Especially with children. So, we are going to have to pry it out- nudge it forward, until we loosen its grip. This is of course is how we untie and unsnarl anything.

Disentanglement

Here are a few strategies I have used in the past- after Harvey devastated our community, to start conversations and keep them going. To helps students adjust back to a routine. Of course that was a much shorter absence from school, but the strategies are transferable to any traumatic situation.

1-     Have them draw a lot. Visual representation of anxiety really helps them put in to words their apprehension and trepidation.

2-     Let them create podcasts individually for your ears only- many do not want to feel weak in front of their peers, but they still want to share and have you as their teacher talk with them on an individual level.

3-     Have face to face, I call them 1-minute check ins every week, with every student. This could be on-line in a Zoom breakout session or in person. This keeps the dialogue open and it is amazing how much they need to and look forward to their moment to share.

4-     Have students keep a writing journal- where daily mindfulness prompts can be kept. This gives them an opportunity at the end of the month to read over the months reflections and see how much they have changed.

5-     Do not force a student to share out loud with the class. Just let those who want to share, share. AND listen with intent. Just let them speak. This will make other students feel safe to do the same- AND after a few weeks, the conversation broadens, and it becomes very communal and meaningful.

6-     Self-advocacy is key in my classroom. Students put anonymous notes in our share box, they put sticky notes on my desk or on our “Let’s Talk About This Again” bulletin board.

This will be a much-needed resource- let them ask questions, share their fears, and come together as a community- even if it cuts into the curriculum. You can always catch up. The emotional wellness and self-care that is going to be needed when we return in the fall is going to be monumental. AND, it is going to take significant patience, mammoth listening skills and observation, and enduring strategies in order for children to feel safe and secure in the new framework of learning.

Untangling the cords and strands will not be a universal operation. Each student will be an undertaking unique, to their perspective, their needs, their understanding of what has happened. As educators, we will be performance-based advocates and action-based counselors. Not that we have not been in the past. But now- our roles are tangled. As we untangle, we are also tangling. This is our profession, this is our connection, this is our pursuit of a community entanglement.