Functionality requires removal of judgment. Purposeful discourse and meaningful reflection. As educators we thrive on integrating this- it is not always easy, for we are human. But, it is always woven into the tapestry of who we are as educators and why we stay.
There are different days as educators we traverse: faltering and tired, energetic and engaged. Just like our students we find moments to connect and retreat. We have echoes of life that follow us through the door- causing distraction and distance from the foci. The intersection of learning and lessons. The strategies of curriculum versus the blue print of our existence. Some days you see the familiar look of procedure and rules on students faces staring back at you. The "I'm here, but I'm not" glaze of expectation.
We as educators have to pull back this film, this hesitancy, this 'going through the motions," both student and educator are navigating. High school students are the extreme of this- the most recognizable symptoms of possibility, prospect, probability and promise. Yet, also the heft of "I just don't care today."
Some carry the weight of familial forecast, others are lost within the vortex of social supposition. I see it more now that I teach all high school. They can be dismissive, they can be complacent and reticent- but what I see, as their teacher, most of all is hope. They attend, collaborate and grasp the reality of what is coming next. The reality of finding the balance between then and now, future dreams unfolding and finding the path to reach their goals.
I am amazed at their insight. Frustration and disappointment both nudging them into a positive orbit. As much as we educators feel the tether loosening and the pulling away- they need us. They need us to listen and guide and let them make mistakes. I have my own young adult children and adult children. I see in them, the same things I see in my high school students. A view of the world both angry and worried, but encapsulated with a bubble of positivity and hope. As educators, we feel this way most days. But we also carry the heaviness of expectations and administrative eyes- adding to our load. The heft can be burdensome.
Find the functionality. Listen for it. It taps, it knocks, it pounds on the door of opportunity. It is always there, even amidst the loud, ferocious doubt that darkens our optimism.
Refuse to carry the umbrella of darkness. Refuse to get caught up in the negativity of disgruntled voices. It has been deafening lately. I have even found myself swimming in the flow of it. I have been quiet, but unwillingly I let the sticky bits get tangled in my hair. So it has been following me home. Intertwining with my balance. Causing me to feel very lopsided lately. I refuse to carry the torch of pointless negativity. I accept the beacon of clarity. I accept the lantern of change- even if it is only to change my own outlook.
Asking what is functioning, and what is not- that is key. That is the spark to light the lantern, to embellish and strengthen the torch of what education is all about. Somewhere to begin. That is where the beam points. Students are searching for the torchlight as well. They give up, they tune out, they don't complete assignments, they get overwhelmed, they shut down. We both, educator and student, go to a place only we know. Our secret place of blockage, shelter and seclusion. We need each other to help pull back the shadow. I find as soon as I open up my gate of sequestration my students notice. As they reemerge from their solitude I notice.
Yesterday was a day different and energizing, after many that left me rundown and feeling useless as an educator. Many days of feeling no matter what I did, no matter the hours of outside the classroom planning, printing, organizing and setting up- my students went through the motions but didn't appreciate anything. At least that is what it appeared to me as an educator. I stopped, I listened and I struck up conversations with my students who rarely connect with me. I asked questions- open ended provoking questions- showing my interest in anything about them- and low and behold- they responded.
I learned some students want to be pilots. Some have massive fish tanks, some tarantula's or lizards. I learned why some love to wear bows in their hair, or colorful bowties. I discovered that some have stuffed animals or talismans kept in their pockets. I had so many conversations with so many students- I felt energized, and sad that in a week my classes will change again, and be reborn with new students crossing the threshold of my classroom. I figured out an important detail about me- as much as students can be hard to get to know, I am too sometimes. I take awhile to open up and really relax. With only 4 weeks in a course, it can cause me to feel disconnected.
We expect to see it instantly, our impact. But most often it builds, it might be all that you get- a quick smile, collaborative discourse, the vibration of learning. Not a thank you or even assignments being turned in, that shine and show interest. But you made an impact, subtle or loud and colorful- one that they carry with them. High schoolers tend to take a lot longer to warm up to us too, they move so much during the year from teacher to teacher, that they are often reserved. Even with my energetic personality, they stay reserved. But I need to keep at it- eventually it leads to a day where I feel like an educator again.
The functionality is not lesson planning. Functionality is not discipline or procedures. That is the process, the purpose and even the components of education that are a given. The baseline. Most educators find this and build their classrooms around it. Sparkly at the edges with gorgeous classrooms and student relationships and community building. Any great teacher has all of these factors connected. It a part of us. But the functionality, that is letting go. Letting them see your struggles and disappointment. Letting them tell you what they need- even if it isn't what you planned to teach. It is seeing the corners and rather than avoiding the sharp edges- having the strength to self-reflect, course correct and be okay with the awkward moments and disappointment.
The hugs and artwork of elementary school, we miss in high school. We tend to get the shrugs and 'huhs.' It's a learning curve. Once they trust you they lower their dividers and start to talk to you. They seek sincerity and approval just like any other student. They just are more focused inward. You can't force it- you have to be patient. I've learned to be more willing to let things go- ignore the eye rolling, accept the late work without judgement and allow for some deviation from the procedures. It is a struggle some days because again, we seek approval as much as our students do. But often our veneer is tarnished by the pressure from new procedures and often unattainable expectations.
High school students though, their endorsement comes in unique ways. It is often slow in arrival and often we might never know. But as long as we are willing to believe in the functionality as much as the components- we can have more days ending with smiles and looking forward to- rather than a reluctance and dreading returning to the classroom.
Find the functionality- the conversations, the down time and moments to allow them to just be teenagers- or children. I just think sometimes we as high school teachers deeply want the hugs and visual, outward admiration found in the younger grade students. Find any moment to reflect, look around and notice the slight shift in behavior, conversation and gait as they leave your room. For impact is inevitable. Just some days we don't notice through the haze of expectations and performance- the giggles and excitement our high schoolers subtly exude.
The pandemic changed the world of education. It put students behind both academically and socially and its impact is far and wide. It has impacted students and educators alike. Systems are readjusting and faculties are trying to create spaces to lessen the gap. With this comes a weight, a feeling of worry and anxiety. But if we let go a little- find the functionality- we will find the bridges and stepping stones to do just that- not just 'mind the gap' but eliminate it.
