I am reading a fantastic book "Atomic Habits" by James Clear. There is also a great podcast with Brene' Brown where they discuss the book.
It got me thinking about goals and goal setting. It is the end result I think, at least for me that really gets my mind overloaded. I am on the spectrum and I have Dyslexia and my brain gets overwhelmed very easily. Growing up I set very strict goals for myself- small minute, step by step goals- to get through my tasks. This tactic followed me into adulthood.
I think setting goals no longer works for me. It pulls me into a loop of outcome and result rather than process and journey. I have been rethinking my day to day life- planning and organizing a system as James Clear so eloquently describes. Creating habits that change my outlook not necessarily the outcome.
I am living my life based more on my outlook- my processes to get me where I want to be. Some days they are so simple and so miniscule that I don't see a result. Not a tangible one anyway. But after a week-it surfaces-and on Sunday's I reflect and write specifically about the circuits and conduits I created that week.
Progress is hard. Overcoming childhood letdowns and trauma is challenging. Often when we as writers write, we crave feedback. We desire some sort of recognition. Not praise necessarily but readership. We feel our outcome is based on other people seeing our words, understanding our outlook. But in reality, it is just our outlook, no one else's.
For two years I wrote every day I posted a blog everyday. It was challenging and very exhausting. But I did it 365 days of writing on one of my two blogs. But starting in January- Monday's and Thursday's are my process. Not a goal- but a system I will implement. Goals can be shameful when we do not meet them, we can feel guilty if we are not focused on them 24 hours a day.
Systems are continual, static at times and fluid in others. They are incremental on some days while monumental on others. I do not have in me monumental. To keep up with the energy on Twitter is intimidating and when I fall behind it feels like a window smashed and shards are falling around me. I prefer the one way mirror. I can observe and still hold on to my outlook and appreciate the glory and beauty of the Twitterverse.
Outcomes occur no matter if we focus our entire energy on them or not. But they do not need to be un-relentless goals. They can be gradual inclines and vast plains of landscape and horizon. I choose the system. I choose the outlook. I am widening to encompass more of myself and sometimes unrecognizable progress can mean 32 degrees. That last increment that causes the sudden change that seem a surprise is merely the culmination of the process- the system- the outlook.
